"How long a minute is, depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on." -Zall's Second Law

"The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action." -Anon?

"There are two rules for success... 1) Never tell everything you know." -Roger H. Lincoln

"There are only two kinds of people in the world: those who think there are only two kinds of people in the world and those who don't." -John Barnes

"When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you." -Lao-Tzu

"Don't let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was." -Richard L. Evans

"Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance." -Confucius

"The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life." -Andrew Brown

"He who controls the past commands the future. He who commands the future conquers the past." -George Orwell

"A great deal of talent is lost to the world for want of a little courage. Every day sends to their graves obscure men whose timidity prevented them from making a first effort." -Sydney Smith

"The 'Net is a waste of time, and that's exactly what's right about it." -William Gibson

"Reality is what refuses to go away when I stop believing in it." -Philip K. Dick

"To achieve the impossible, one must think the absurd; to look where everyone else has looked, but to see what no one else has seen." -Anon?

"98% of all statistics are made up." -Anon?

"When you don't know where you're going any road will take you there." -Alice

"Those that have nothing to aim for, aim for nothing." -Anon?

"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts." -Bertrand Russell

"The man who strikes first admits that his ideas have given out." -Chinese Proverb

"He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever." -Chinese proverb

"The optimist proclaims we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true." -James B. Cabell

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." -Aristotle

"Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum" (I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.)" -Ambrose Bierce

"The trouble with the rat-race is that even if you win, you're still a rat." -Lily Tomlin

"Some men see things as they are and say why? I dream things that never were and say 'Why not?'" -George Bernard Shaw

"People who know little are usually great talkers, while men who know much say little." -Jean Jacques Rousseau

"If it takes a lot of words to say what you have in mind, give it more thought." -Dennis Roch

"The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity." -Ellen Parr

"The optimist thinks that this is the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist knows it." -J. Robert Oppenheimer

"Lack of will power has caused more failure than lack of intelligence or ability." -Flower A. Newhouse

"Ten people who speak make more noise than ten thousand who are silent." -Napoleon

"Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that someone might be looking." -H. L. Mencken

"A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something." -Wilson Mizner

"Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die." -Joe Louis

"The world began without man, and it will complete itself without him." -Claude Levi-Strauss

"In the long run we are all dead." -John Maynard Keynes

"Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly." -Robert F. Kennedy

"The great masses of the people... will more easily fall victims to a big lie than to a small one" -Adolf Hitler

"Expecting something for nothing is the most popular form of hope." -Arnold Glasow

"It isn't what they say about you, it's what they whisper." -Errol Flynn

"The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible." -Albert Einstein

"The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one." -Albert Einstein

"One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say." -Will Durant

"Don't talk unless you can improve the silence." -Laurence Coughlin

"When you have nothing to say, say nothing." -Charles Caleb Colton

"To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target." -Ashleigh Brilliant

"Doing easily what others find difficult is talent; doing what is impossible for talent is genius." -Henri-Frederic Amiel

"Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely." -Lord Acton

"Looking at the proliferation of personal web pages on the net, it looks like very soon everyone on earth will have 15 Megabytes of fame." -MG Siriam

"Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked." -Jeff Pesis

"It doesn't matter what temperature the room is; it's always room temperature." -Steven Wright

"If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done." -Anon?

"There is no time like the present for postponing what you ought to be doing." -Anon?

"Proofreading is more effective after publication." -Barker

"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics." -Benjamin Disraeli

"Winning isn't everything" -Anon?

"The person who said 'Winning isn't everything', never won anything" -Anon?